When I was a teenager, I remember looking at older women and feeling a variety of feelings:
- Mild Annoyance
- Slight Contempt
Now that I am that older woman and I live with a teenager, it’s SO delightful to have the shoe on the other foot. (There might be some sarcasm in here…but honestly I really look at this as fertile ground.)
Yesterday, we were driving home from school. I peeked in my rearview mirror and looked at the face of my teenager. It was closed and pinched tight. (This pic is of my pre-teen, but same concept…)
I looked at my own face and I was smiling at the world in the sunshine. My face was annoyingly open and I was loving the world around me.
When we are in restaurants, on the street…anywhere really I look people in the eye and try and SEE them. “Hello.” “Good morning.” “How are you?”
My teenager furtively looks at people – seemingly as uncomfortable with looking them in the eye them as being seen. She’s slightly embarrassed by my chatting with people so openly.
BTW – she has read this and approved it, so I’m not gossiping about her. She wanted to clarify that she isn’t uncomfortable with looking at people on the street…but looking people in the eye is harder.
I dance in my car, in my home, truth be told…I dance anywhere. (Black Sheep, “The Choice is Yours” xo)
My child used to join me in my dancing. It ended last year or so. No more family dance parties…
It seems like there is this time in the middle when we get super self-conscious for a REALLY LONG TIME. When we worry SO MUCH what the world thinks of us. Where we don’t know ourselves and are unsure of our place in it all.
And then apparently (at least in my case) you come out the other side standing in your 40’s and don’t give a flying f(&k. You stand in your power, your big S Self. It’s like coming out of a deep sleep…you wake up and look around and you SEE other people…you SEE your Self. You SEE how we’re ALL connected.
Is this just me? I don’t think so.
I look around and I see other women my age DOING SOME SERIOUSLY COOL SH&T. They are standing firmly in their power, looking other people in the eye, and saying, “HELLO.”
Maybe what I can’t figure out is if I feel a little bad for the young me, my teenager, other young people. I wish they could fast forward a bit…
Because let me tell you…this feels glorious.
(Any other middle-aged women feeling this???)