It’s hard for me to look back there. My divorce was a painful time that involved a great deal of shame. I didn’t just end my marriage, I took an Uzi and some explosives to it.
The shame sat on the back of my neck like a coiled snake. It whispered things like, “you are no good. you aren’t a nice person. you are terrible. you are bad.”
So I drank…a lot. My roommate at the time when asked for the 15th consecutive night in a row to go out, “Sarah…I can’t keep up with you.”
You have to understand – I was on tv. I faked EVERYTHING. I was sunny and happy – maybe noone saw? I’m not really sure. I want to ask my people, “Did you know? Did you know how bad it was? Did you know how bad I was?”
I moved to Minneapolis at the end of November – new sparkly job, new apartment, new city, new people. It kept me occupied – busied me from my depression.
But not really.
I functioned, but maybe not well? I have no idea. I got up. I went to work. I partied a lot. And I did it again and again and again.
Are you depressed? Anxious? Sitting with trauma? Living with chronic stress? Dear one – you aren’t alone. And there are tools to help.
Learn some of them at my Holiday Survival Master Class. It’s a half an hour. It’s free. You can learn from the privacy of your own home. It’s Saturday, December 16 at 9:00 am Central. But don’t sweat it if you can’t come – a recording will be e-mailed out.
Join me/Click below – Peace, Sarah