Man I don’t know about you, but I LIKE TOOLS. When you have some stuff to contend with, it’s good to have some tools in your toolbox no?
This month we’re concentrating on Self-Compassion. Why? Because have you ever paid attention to how you speak to yourself? People’s inner dialogue is damn near abusive.
What does your inner punisher say?
Mine goes something like this:
“I can’t believe you __forgot, lost something, double-booked etc.___. What is WRONG with you? Why do you always DO THIS? It’s so ridiculous. What is your problem? So dumb. So forgetful. So scatter-brained.”
It doesn’t matter that what I did was HUMAN. A mistake. A simple error. I treat myself to a healthy dose of punishment. Heaps. God forbid I’m not perfect.
And let me tell you, my punisher is ruthless. She is exacting and finds fault in mmm almost everything. She makes me feel terrible about myself.
We would NEVER talk to another like we talk to ourselves. We cause ourselves such suffering with how we self-talk.
A big tool I use to fight this is the BIG.RED.STOPSIGN. I catch myself doing the negative self-talk, close my eyes and imagine big stopsign and say, “STOP.”
This stops the train from making it’s way from ‘the mistake’ to ‘self-flagellation’.
It puts a pause button on the stream of crap you are telling yourself.
In order for this to work, you have to start noticing when you’re engaging in negative self-talk. Sometimes you can be in a few minutes before you realize. But see if you can start to get a handle on the Punisher – catching it sooner and sooner.
- Notice the negative self-talk
- Imagine a STOP sign
- Tell yourself “STOP.”
We’ll talk about next steps in my next blog post.