The question posed was this, “What are the top 3 things that stop you from giving yourself self-care?”
Of the hundred or so responses that you sent back, one of them was Guilt. And of all the responses, most of you? Mom Guilt.
We’re going to address this one because it sits so close to home for me. I hear you. How can I take from my kids and family to do something for myself? It’s stealing time away from them, upsets them, and puts a burden on my partner.
Also, I might be seen as selfish.
- My therapist said something that was really powerful, ready? “Guilt is the only learned emotion.” Boom. We didn’t come into the world feeling guilt, we were taught it.
- It’s really great for your kids and your partner to see that you care for yourself. That you are taking some time to yourself to give yourself pleasure and to fill your well back up. It’s great for your kids because your modeling taking sweet care of yourself and reminding them that mom is an important member of the family too. It’s great for your partner because it reminds them of that too AND it gives them some freedom to explore their own self-care.
So for the month of February, try this – write a list of things that bring you pleasure and fill your well back up (waxing doesn’t count…right?) Pick 3 and put them on your calendar. Invite your partner to do the same (it’s nice to be spacious and supportive of their needs too.) Ask for mutual support in attending to self-care appointments.
Then notice how you feel afterwards.
Notice that you’re a better mom, partner, friend, family-member, employee when your well is fuller. As such, you can release the guilt that surrounds self-care. It helps the whole family and is therefore good for the whole family.
Have a guilt-free month caring for your beautiful self.