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Self-Care Month – “I don’t have TIME…”

The #1 answer I got back. “I don’t have time.” “Not enough time.” “Not enough time in the day.”

I’ve been dancing around this post for a couple of weeks now and I’m not sure why. I think because it rubs up against what I hear as a trainer/teacher again and again and again ever since I had big hair and taught aerobics, “I just don’t have time to exercise.”

The coach in me wants to respond with the tough line, “No. You don’t make time.”

Uff. That’s not really how I roll now. The yoga instructor in me wants to be more spacious.

Thus the battle. So here we go….

What I want to say to people who say they don’t have time for Self-Care is this, you’re not making space for yourself in your own life. You are allowing other things to take the line ahead of you. And I get it –sometimes life is like that. But it’s when this becomes the norm that things start to go awry. When you continually subjugate your needs again and again and forget that you even have a need…that is when you need to stop and take stock.

Because you’re operating from a negative balance – an empty well. You grabbing table scraps to make it through each day instead of coming from a place of being full (or at least partially full.) You’ve probably forgotten what it even feels like to come from that place.

What does this lead to? Well…something on the other end of the see saw of wellness. Stress. Anxiety. Depression. Overwhelm. Exhaustion. Self-Medicating. Hamster Wheels. Around and around and around and around.

The thing is this – Self-Love is the heart of it. It is the beginning and the end of it. The alpha and omega. Because when you love your beautiful self, you’re more apt to TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. You’re more apt to:

Breathe

Calm

Move

Cook healthy food

Eat healthy food

Keep your center

Quiet

Fresh air

Drink a glass of water

Practice gratitude

Choose positivity

Not drink/eat too much

I can’t take the hard line because I’ve been on the hamster wheel. I get it. You won’t get any judgment from me – but you might get an irrational hug because I want to smooth your feathers. Step off now. And remember that Self-Care can be the simplest of things done in a just a moment of your time. Breathe now. Inhale. Exhale.

Peace.Love.Joy. Sarah

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Self Care Month – “I can’t afford it.”

It’s a funny thing money – it can make you feel so trapped and hemmed in. I wish I could wave a magic wand and help people change their money story and talk about how money is just energy, but that’s not today.

Today is “I can’t afford self-care.”

Here’s the exercise – Name 3 things that don’t cost a penny that you’re able to do for yourself today to allow for some self-care.

1.

2.

3.

I think we get stuck in the idea that caring for ourselves has to be a trip to the spa or getting our nails done. And those things are lovely, truly. But it’s the simple things – the simple day-to-day things that we give ourselves that really mean something.

It’s like a string of pearls and each time you are kind to yourself and give yourself a bit of love, your strand grows longer.

Self-Care is the fertilizer in the garden of Self LOVE. That is why it’s so important.

Stringing together small and tender things that you do for yourself shows Self Love.

Cup of tea. Bath. Fresh air. Smiling at yourself in the mirror (powerful one.) Reading a book. A luxurious stretch. Quiet. Dancing to your favorite song. Calling a friend. Hug yourself. 15 more minutes of sleep. Waking up a little early so you have the house to yourself. Lotioning. Glass of cool water. Neatening the mess. Ignoring the mess. Drawing. Writing.

Everybody’s idea of self-care is different. And it doesn’t have to cost a penny.

And self-care is more than exercise. It’s taking care of the whole of you – your body, mind and spirit.

Nurturing yourself in the small moments and in the simplest of ways is incredibly powerful. It forms a powerful inner/outer blanket of Love. And it is through that Self Love that you are able to love others, share your gifts, and serve the world.

Do the three things on your list today. Carve it out. Show yourself a little tender care. You’re so unbelievably worth it.

Namaste. Sarah


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Self Care Month – “I feel guilty when I do anything for myself.”

The question posed was this, “What are the top 3 things that stop you from giving yourself self-care?”

Of the hundred or so responses that you sent back, one of them was Guilt. And of all the responses, most of you? Mom Guilt. 

We’re going to address this one because it sits so close to home for me. I hear you. How can I take from my kids and family to do something for myself? It’s stealing time away from them, upsets them, and puts a burden on my partner.

Also, I might be seen as selfish.

Two things:

  • My therapist said something that was really powerful, ready? “Guilt is the only learned emotion.” Boom. We didn’t come into the world feeling guilt, we were taught it.
  • It’s really great for your kids and your partner to see that you care for yourself. That you are taking some time to yourself to give yourself pleasure and to fill your well back up. It’s great for your kids because your modeling taking sweet care of yourself and reminding them that mom is an important member of the family too. It’s great for your partner because it reminds them of that too AND it gives them some freedom to explore their own self-care.

So for the month of February, try this – write a list of things that bring you pleasure and fill your well back up (waxing doesn’t count…right?) Pick 3 and put them on your calendar. Invite your partner to do the same (it’s nice to be spacious and supportive of their needs too.) Ask for mutual support in attending to self-care appointments.

Then notice how you feel afterwards.

Notice that you’re a better mom, partner, friend, family-member, employee when your well is fuller. As such, you can release the guilt that surrounds self-care. It helps the whole family and is therefore good for the whole family.

Have a guilt-free month caring for your beautiful self.

Namaste, Sarah