Turino Fitness

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Self Care Month – “I can’t afford it.”

It’s a funny thing money – it can make you feel so trapped and hemmed in. I wish I could wave a magic wand and help people change their money story and talk about how money is just energy, but that’s not today.

Today is “I can’t afford self-care.”

Here’s the exercise – Name 3 things that don’t cost a penny that you’re able to do for yourself today to allow for some self-care.

1.

2.

3.

I think we get stuck in the idea that caring for ourselves has to be a trip to the spa or getting our nails done. And those things are lovely, truly. But it’s the simple things – the simple day-to-day things that we give ourselves that really mean something.

It’s like a string of pearls and each time you are kind to yourself and give yourself a bit of love, your strand grows longer.

Self-Care is the fertilizer in the garden of Self LOVE. That is why it’s so important.

Stringing together small and tender things that you do for yourself shows Self Love.

Cup of tea. Bath. Fresh air. Smiling at yourself in the mirror (powerful one.) Reading a book. A luxurious stretch. Quiet. Dancing to your favorite song. Calling a friend. Hug yourself. 15 more minutes of sleep. Waking up a little early so you have the house to yourself. Lotioning. Glass of cool water. Neatening the mess. Ignoring the mess. Drawing. Writing.

Everybody’s idea of self-care is different. And it doesn’t have to cost a penny.

And self-care is more than exercise. It’s taking care of the whole of you – your body, mind and spirit.

Nurturing yourself in the small moments and in the simplest of ways is incredibly powerful. It forms a powerful inner/outer blanket of Love. And it is through that Self Love that you are able to love others, share your gifts, and serve the world.

Do the three things on your list today. Carve it out. Show yourself a little tender care. You’re so unbelievably worth it.

Namaste. Sarah

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Self Care Month – “I feel guilty when I do anything for myself.”

The question posed was this, “What are the top 3 things that stop you from giving yourself self-care?”

Of the hundred or so responses that you sent back, one of them was Guilt. And of all the responses, most of you? Mom Guilt. 

We’re going to address this one because it sits so close to home for me. I hear you. How can I take from my kids and family to do something for myself? It’s stealing time away from them, upsets them, and puts a burden on my partner.

Also, I might be seen as selfish.

Two things:

  • My therapist said something that was really powerful, ready? “Guilt is the only learned emotion.” Boom. We didn’t come into the world feeling guilt, we were taught it.
  • It’s really great for your kids and your partner to see that you care for yourself. That you are taking some time to yourself to give yourself pleasure and to fill your well back up. It’s great for your kids because your modeling taking sweet care of yourself and reminding them that mom is an important member of the family too. It’s great for your partner because it reminds them of that too AND it gives them some freedom to explore their own self-care.

So for the month of February, try this – write a list of things that bring you pleasure and fill your well back up (waxing doesn’t count…right?) Pick 3 and put them on your calendar. Invite your partner to do the same (it’s nice to be spacious and supportive of their needs too.) Ask for mutual support in attending to self-care appointments.

Then notice how you feel afterwards.

Notice that you’re a better mom, partner, friend, family-member, employee when your well is fuller. As such, you can release the guilt that surrounds self-care. It helps the whole family and is therefore good for the whole family.

Have a guilt-free month caring for your beautiful self.

Namaste, Sarah

 

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Ugh. Diet fads.

Today I was taking a look at this article about How Americans are Gluttons for Diet Fads and just got so frustrated. It makes my heart hurt that the diet industry is alive and kicking so well here in the United States.

I’m going to be the most unpopular person in America today, but I’m going to tell you the truth.

Ready?

There’s no quick fix.

There is NO.QUICK.FIX. people.

There is no shake, diet, drug, detox, or wrap that is going to get you thin healthfully.

There just isn’t. (Sidebar: Most people don’t give a crap about the healthfully part, they just want to be THIN.AT.ALL.COSTS.AND.AS.QUICKLY.AS.POSSIBLE.)

And when you feed into the machine of the DIET industry – it generally results in a repeat performance and then some. They’ve got you. You lost it, you gained it back, you want to lose it again and quickly.

It’s crazy making.

And it’s not good for your SOUL (because then you’re not loving the gift of YOU and you’re basing that self-disgust, hate, derision on the size of your damn pants.)

And it’s not good for your BODY (because you’re not giving it what it really needs.)

And it’s not good for your MIND (because then you obsess about it and it becomes all that you think about.)

Good food. Healthy amounts. Eat a rainbow. Move your body in a way that pleases you. Deep breaths. Get fresh air. Laugh. Love your amazing self. You may not end up being your dream size, but…you just might be AT PEACE and HEALTHY. Come on people.

Namaste, Sarah

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Taking up Space

Last weekend, there was a competition at my local Crossfit gym. They sent out pictures on our group page from the event. I started looking, really looking at the incredible women that surround me at the gym.

They are strong.

They are amazing.

And friends?  They are not delicate flowers.

They kick some serious ass.

I combined what I saw with my eyes with how I’ve been feeling in my body since I started Crossfit a year ago…

Strong.

Able.

Capable.

Powerful.

But it lies in direct conflict with something glaring…my SIZE.

I’m bigger. More muscular. My ass is HUGE and my thighs are definitely loving up on each other when I walk. My shoulders and chest are broad.

None of my jeans fit anymore except for my boyfriend jeans…and they’re not baggy any longer. My bras are reaching maximum stretch around my middle. None of my underwear fits anymore.

So…naturally I thought I’d gained fat and was hating on myself. (uck.)

I actually didn’t put the two pieces really together until this week. I am bigger. I am more muscular. I have gained weight.

Yes…I have gained weight. AND ISN’T IT FREAKING FANTASTIC???

I was talking about this with my friend Amy and she said something that I want to shout from the rooftops.  Ready?  She said, “Why do women spend so much time and energy trying to take up LESS SPACE?”

Ding ding ding ding!

Why are we trying to make ourselves smaller? Why are we trying to take up less space?

The past couple of days it dawns on me that I LIKE THE CHANGES THAT ARE TAKING PLACE IN MY BODY. It’s different, to be sure, but I like it. I FEEL STRONG AND POWERFUL. And I love how I feel in my skin.

All of a sudden, I stopped freaking out about how none of my jeans could fit anymore…and started accepting that I liked how I was feeling in my body MORE than worrying about the size of my fantastic ass and thighs.

I ordered new jeans.

Let’s take up space sisters. Let’s inhabit the bodies we’ve been given fully and take up whatever space they are instead of warring with them and hating them and begging them to be smaller.

Peace, S

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Start with LOVE

There is so much happening around us – locally in the Twin Cities, nationally, internationally. It’s enough to make you want to bow your head with the weight of it. It’s hard not to feel helpless, hopeless, afraid.

I don’t know much, but I know this:

One good thought can make a difference.

One kind action can make a difference.

One authentic exchange with another can make a difference.

One true smile with eye contact can make a difference.

Giving help when someone asks can make a difference.

Walking and talking and living in the space of love can make a difference.

We’re all leaves on the same tree.

One good thought -> One kind word -> One tender action.

One drop -> One ripple -> One Wave.

Namaste. S

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To Spanx or Not To Spanx?

I’ve been thinking a lot about how aging gives you a different perspective. Back when I was young I was more concerned with “What do I look like?” And now, as a middle-aged woman I am more concerned with, “How do I feel?”

But vanity doesn’t escape me. I’m getting ready to take my daughter to a ball. I pulled out my trusty full-length classic black CK from when I used to need such things. Ten+ years ago…

And let’s just say that things have changed.

It fits (wildly proud of this) but it’s…different.

Since I last wore the dress to black tie fundraisers and the Emmy’s…I’ve had two children and gotten older. My skin is different. My body is different. I’m different.

My first reaction to it was OH.MY.GOD.!!!!!!!

SONY DSC

SONY DSC

My second reaction to it was to start looking on the internet for Spanx.

About a half an hour into looking at various ‘support’ options…I started writing a post to my mommy group here in Saint Paul. I knew they’d hold me gently as I embraced the idea that I was going to have to buy some Spanx. Then…it turned into this blog. Because I realized that I wasn’t the only one to war with this decision.

I love myself. I love where I am. I love my beautiful body. It’s not perfect, but it suits me. And everything I stand for as a trainer is all about loving on your sweet self.

So isn’t buying Spanx kind of buying into the idea that I have to look a different way?

I think so. So I stepped slowly away from the girdles and support wear.

I need to think on this, but I’m not sure if I can get around buying it…it buys into something that makes me sad. That I need to suck it all in and be a certain way in order to be beautiful. And…that’s bullshit. I’m just right as I am.

Now…ask me again when I put the dress on to take my girl to the ball…I might have a crazed visit to the department store. But for now…I’m going to sit with it. I’m going to sit with the idea that I’m perfect as I am.

And so are you.

Peace, Sarah

ISSUESin yourTISSUES


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Issues in your Tissues

Do you think we hold things in our bodies? Physical trauma sure. What about emotional trauma? Do you think we kind of stick stuff away in little boxes?  In our minds, certainly. But what about in our bodies? Do you think we can have issues in our tissues?

Last month, I had my quarterly massage appointment with the amazing Stephanie. She does deep tissue work and also does energy work as she massages. As she was working on me, she ran her hands over the top part of my hips. All of a sudden, I burst out crying…and it wasn’t from pain. I was a little embarrassed and didn’t understand exactly what was happening. All I could think to myself was, “All my hopes and dreams were held in those two little areas….”

With her touch, Stephanie helped me to open a door that I’d locked – sealed – closed off…awhile ago.

The area she touched is the area my husband would put hormone shots twice daily for each round of in vitro fertilization that we went through. Five rounds. Three months each. Two shots a day.

I think I thought that because I had children…that it was time to tuck all of the feelings that go along with in vitro away and just be thankful that it worked.

And I am. I am SO grateful. There is no gratitude like the gratitude of a mother who receives the gift of a child by any means.

But also, tucked away in my body and unbeknownst to me were areas that I had not processed.

Pain. Sadness. Grief. Loss. Terror. Anger.

IVF taxed every aspect of me, us. Emotional, Spiritual, Physical, Psychological, Relational, and probably a dozen more that I just can’t think of right now.

But I tucked it away…and replaced it with JOY. And DELIGHT. And GRATITUDE. Because it worked and I had two beautiful babies!!

And now, I realize…I’ve got issues in my tissues. There’s stuff that I’d locked away that needs to be unpacked and felt. My husband asked, “How are you going to do that?” Well…I’m not really sure. But I think more body work with people I trust to hold me gently as I feel my way through this. When stuff bubbles up, I’ll let it come. I’m ready now to feel instead of stuffing it away. I’m giving myself permission to see the shadow side of this experience that we went through in addition to the gratitude.

It leads me to wonder about all the stuff we stick away in order to not feel. Does it result in dis-ease? Is part of wellness allowing for all of the feelings instead of denying them? I’m kind of thinking yes…

Peace, Sarah

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